So I was setting up my coffee to brew in the morning, and the Folgers jar says that its house blend is “flavorful and aromatic” in big letters.
However, in my state of exhaustion after having spent hours writing papers on everything from WWI-era Greenwich Village, to the benefits of socialized healthcare, to BDSM… seriously… I read my coffee as “flavorful and aromantic”
And I briefly got really excited for a second because I thought that my coffee might share my romantic orientation.
It took me nearly a full minute before I realized my mistake.
Coffee may be the nectar of the gods, but it is inanimate and cannot have a romantic orientation.
I was legitimately saddened by this.
…dear glob, I need sleep…